Greetings Dowel Fans!

Welcome to another fantastic newsletter of the Dowel! This month we are once again talking about all things related to the Dowel – we have an update from our space programme, we explain why there was no newsletter last month, we have an interview with a member, we have two public service anouncements and its still not enough dowel information – we need more!! Lets jump right in!

Last Months Newsletter

Last months newsletter was delayed whilst we took legal advice on if we can follow up on our previously published story which alleged that Jlo – who enraged following a confrontation about the correct use of recycling, sped away on a stolen lime bike and then crashed in to a red 1991 Toyota MR2 mid engined rear wheel drive sports car before leaving the scene without leaving even a note… Below is a surmise of the meeting minutes between our editorial team and our legal council.

1) We have been advised to avoid using the term legal “counsel” as our advisor has no formal legal qualifications nor experience asides from watching several episodes of that show which wasnt perry mason but did feature the the guy who plays perry mason in it – anyway, they have no adverse comments regards the use of “legal council”. 2) They were unclear on what the link between Jlo and the Dowel was – to which I explained she was scheduled to guest edit our newsletter until she spotted the way in which one of my neighbours (allegedly) left a cardboard box in the recycling area without having made any effort to fold or compress the box. 3) Our legal council said they have no formal legal qualifications nor experience – but we cant go far wrong slapping “allegedly” in front of everything. I had some things to say about this and the legal council suggests I attend a course on journalistic integrity / anger management. 4) Now, this is perhaps the most interesting thing to come out of this meeting – apparently according to my legal council – it is not possible to libel dead people – you can say whatever you like about them – provided you are sure they are dead.

And that was pretty much the end of the meeting – so what can we take from this it seems that any future mentions of celebrity interactions will need to be prefaced with the word “allegedly” even things that I witnessed with my own eyes, we can tell you though that all dead people follow the Dowel… David Bowie, Prince, John Lennon, George Michael – they all believed very strongly in the Dowel apparently and finally – I will never go to a personal development workshop – unless court ordered – even then…

Space Programme Update

Now the thing with any science based endeavour – especially long, arduous, expensive ones is the happy little surprises that you encounter along the way – as part of our space programme we developed a unique short to mid range Dowel delivery system.

Its entirely based on the use of a giant whip… our scientists hypothesise that by fusing leather with graphene – we can create stronger whips – and use these new improved whips to hurl a Dowel as far as the horizon. Now this wont get us in to space – it will send a Dowel bloody far. Artists rendering shown below for context.

Image Credit: S.Dowel. Praise the Dowel!

After the break!

Still to come - two public service anouncements - members news etc etc.

Readers Question of the Month - October 2025:

Whats the most famous person you have ever seen rummaging through your bins? (alive or dead although it would be simpler for us all if they are now dead…).

Public Service Announcement #1:

If you do see a random Dowel in the wild – I don’t know lets, for the sake of argument, say you find a Dowel – in a hidden drawer. And again, lets imagine perhaps this draw was in a holiday house that you rented – it could be anywhere, it doesn’t matter I’m just making this up as a hypothetical example to prove a point – but lets suppose that this holiday house was on one of the Greek islands, I’ll just pick one at random – lets say Corfu.. . so if you for example find a Dowel in a secret drawer, in holiday home on the Greek island of Corfu – if something like that were to happen to you – you should always let us know – maybe take a photo and we can include it in the newsletter – or at least sit and reflect on it – the Dowel is probably trying to tell you something.

Public Service Announcement #2: Christmas Cards

Our end of year occasion cards will be posted in November to those over seas – or flung at you using a giant graphene enthused whip if you live within 5 miles of Hammersmith. If you want one this year - make sure that we have your correct address details, if you havent already.

Interview with Actual Member

This was an interview with an actual member of the Dowel – remembered as best I can.

P: Why wont you sign up to the Dowel whatsapp channel?
DM: I don’t like sharing my data with anyone.
P: I knew you would think like that and I’ve already addressed those concerns in the newsletter. You have read the newsletter recently right?
DM: Uh, no… I’m saving them up until a point when I can sit down and focus on them properly….
P: You are what? Hmmm, just sign up to the whatsapp group you don’t have to actually read the newsletters.
DM: No,
P: Come on,
DM: No,
P: Why wont you do it, really?
DM: Look, I suspect all the people signed up to your newsletter are all a bit weird.
P: Weird like you and I you mean? For fuck sake.
DM: Yes.
P: You really are impossible.
Just scan the QR code.

WHATS THAT - DOWEL NEWS ON WHATS APP?

Do you click on QR codes from unkown sources – if you clicked on the above you will have found the whatsapp channel of the Dowel. Key takeaways:

• Its private (as much as anything from meta is…)
• You arent visible to other viewers or followers of the channel – they cant see your number, profile picture etc.
• Meta probably track you, although they say they dont
• You will find a nice juicy link to the newsletter just as soon as it is released…
• You can sign up and then just completely ignore it no one minds.
• We will be including exclusive subsciber only content soon

So, what are you waiting on? Click the link and join up now! https://www.whatsapp.com/channel/0029VawAffN72WTvMBcXMc3X


NEXT MONTH

Next month we are ask – are dashes an old representation of Dowels? For all that and more - tune in to us again next month – same Dowel time, same Dowel place… and if you have any Dowel news, stories, or pictures to share - then by all means email us at “membership@praisethedowel.com” and you could find them featured in our newsletter. Until then - as always, praise the Dowel!
P.

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