< FOR BEST RESULTS VIEW IN BROWSER >

If you love the Dowel and you know it...

THE NEWSLETTER OF THE DOWEL

April 11 2025

The Worlds Number One Dowel Related Newsletter!

Greetings Dowel fans!

Its time for another newsletter - a newsletter for people who face adversity and rise to the challenge, people for whom difficult times bring out the best in them, for people who don’t see obstacles they only see challenges – for people who will meet those challenges head on with strength, determination and grit – its the newsletter for the members of the Dowel! For people like you!

This month its another fantastic month of Dowel related content – we change things slightly with a serious piece of journalism in which we explore how the Dowel has set international borders and we have the return of some regular features – like our Dowel picture of the month contest. Honestly, its probably the best month ever for Dowel related content. So, read on – praise the Dowel!

The Dowel Changes Everything.
How the Dowel Affects International Borders (1608 - 2025)

This is a longer form article, which we don’t do often, and it is information dense. Lets get straight in with the largest producer of Dowels in the world – “Profiles”. They produce up to 15 million Dowels a day and they source their timber exclusively from forests in Slovenia and Croatia. This area, with its massive potential for Dowel production has been a source of international tension for hundreds of years. At the start of the 20th century the area was ruled over by the Austro-Hungarian Empire until their collapse at the end of WW1. At this point Yugoslavia was formed. During WW2 axis powers wanting to secure their own Dowels - invaded. The axis powers of course couldn’t hold on to it and Yugoslavia emerged as independent nation after ww2 - during the cold war that followed Yugoslavia remained neutral as both east and west fought over who got control of the Dowels - that battle was eventually won by the West as Yugoslavia surcomed to internal clashes and today Croatia and Slovenia are part of the European Union. Of course international borders remain “fluid” and Russia continues to covet this amazing source of Dowels.

Speaking of the Russians - they already have very large Dowel forests of their own over in Siberia – you would think that would be enough for them but you would be wrong. This big forest is on their eastern border which they share with China. Now, China has for the last 100 years or so, for various reasons, been going through somewhat of a “rebuilding” phase. Well now they are starting to stand up for themselves again and are increasing their own Dowel production. They have located their largest Dowel factories right on the border with Siberia...now for how much longer will will China pay to import Dowels from Russia? Who knows...

Now moving further east once again – through Russia and across Alaska – you reach the next big Dowel producing forest - in Canada… when Europe first heard of “the great Dowel producing forest of the West” the British and French fought for almost 300 years to control these forests – however for the last 150 years or so a status quo of sorts was reached and Canada has been able to peacefully administer the forest and ensure that North America can produce a volume of Dowels almost equal to that of the old European powers.

This peace and epic volume of Dowel production is threatened by the potential aggression of the loud, rowdy, ignorant, self obsessed neighbour to the south – who despite all their self proclaimed technological and military might do not have the raw materials, ability, technical know-how or fundamental philsophical understanding to produce Dowels in the quantities that would make them relevant… so who knows how this will play out....

Outside of these countries there are no significant Dowel producing areas – and thats why the rest of the world is known as “The third world” aka those without the means to produce their own Dowels and that is a brief – and perhaps slightly oversimplified history of the modern world. If you would like to know more about the history of the Dowel – please view the relevant sections on our website or reach out to our Dowel history research team. In a future letter we may go in to more detail about how the longest lasting empire of all time was built on a reverence of the Dowel… or how we can trace the precedence of the Dowel back to a time before even trees existed. Let us know what you thought of the above.

After the break!

Still to come - more Dowel news!

Are you looking for your next great read?

Check out the follow up to Dorra's top rated debut story - wedding Dowels!

SHOP Now!

Intermission:

THE DOWEL COMPELS YOU TO DO WELL!

Dowel Photo of the Month - April 25.

If you love the Dowel and you know it...

From a reader in Hammersmith - the local Ikea provides free Dowels to anyone in need - a tremendous example of corporate and community relationships done right - this is a photo of the available Dowels.

If you have a photo of the Dowel or Dowels you would like to share - please let us know.

Reader's Question of the Month.

Last month we asked “what would you change about this newsletter if you could” the overwhelming majority of respondents said they would change NOTHING about the newsletter - they just want to see more of it and see it in more spaces - such as in Magazine kiosks and supermarket shelves etc. and we agree with them 100%.

Now, this month we have a hypothetical question for you – if you ran a global newsletter focussing on a a particular type of timber fixing - is it wrong for the newsletters to be indexed by search engines - especially if in your hypothetical newsletter – you discuss your new Dowel militia? Follow up question – how do I stop them indexing these newsletters? I know there's a way.


GET THIS NEWSLETTER DIRECT TO YOUR PHONE!

Some of you still havent signed up to our whatsapp group - and thats fine, we understand your distrust of big tech - but they control your email too and this newsletter is not yet available in newsagents - so sign up now! To all the decent, dependable, unpretentiously cool people who have signed up already - you are the best!

If you love the Dowel and you know it...

Scan the picture or click the link to join.
LINK
(Your details are not shared with anyone - even the owner of the group, of course meta will get them... but they probably have them already and the alternative Dowel social network is not up to speed yet...Sign up your friends today.)

NEXT MONTH

Next month we ask – if you don’t have the Dowel in your life can you still, ever, truly - be happy?

P.

Dowel

It's the newsletter of the Dowel

www.praisethedowel.com

This email was sent by the Holy Order of the Dowel

Email contents copyright © 2025 The Holy Order of the Dowel

To UNSUBSCRIBE reply "UnsubscRibe" to this email

DISCLAIMER: This newsletter is provided as a service to the community - the information within is provided in good faith and no assurance is given as to the accuracy of information conatined within.